Q. Shouldn't conflicts be avoided at all costs in business?

A. Confronting a conflict or tolerating the expression and resolution of differences can be very useful. However, it's critical that you "fight fairly" and ensure conditions are right for engaging in a conflict rather than react impulsively or emotionally.

Q. How do those engaged in a conflict ensure it will be productive and won't cause damage?

A. Everyone involved must agree to engage in the conflict and make an effort to resolve it. If one party holds back and decides not to participate, the conflict will escalate to the point of damaging a professional relationship or causing the company some harm.

Q. When is the optimal time to confront and resolve a conflict?

A. Take into account energy levels based on factors such as the time of day and fatigue, the amount of time available to devote to the process based on work loads and meetings scheduled, and emotional readiness.

Q. Who should be involved in the conflict resolution?

A. All parties should be aware of and agree upon who will be involved in resolving the conflict. People involved in a conflict don't like to be observed by uninvolved parties unless they mutually decide on the help of a third party to facilitate or mediate the process.

Q. Where is the best place to meet?

A. Discuss conflicts in a neutral space that is neither party's territory or maybe is common ground and, therefore, comfortable for everyone involved. People discuss conflicts with less tension when there are few distractions and listening is easy for everyone.

Q. What other considerations should be taken into account?

A. Make sure the conflict resolution process is not a vent or an unexpected attack on one of the individuals. It's critical that people be prepared to air their differences for the most productive outcome, especially if they are not generally friendly or cooperative with each other.

Q. If I am the third party who is helping others resolve a conflict, what should I do?

A. As long as all parties involved are cooperative, explain the ten-step process and emphasize that your role is to facilitate their going through each step as they concentrate on listening to each other. Then you can help develop a solution that meets everyone's needs.

Q. As the facilitator, what do I do if the parties are not cooperative or friendly and
emotions are running very high?

A. You help them resolve the conflict by taking them through the ten steps without explaining the steps ahead of time. As you get to each step, identify what you want each party to do, and ask clarifying questions to make sure they understand each other and agree throughout the process. This method is very effective, although it takes more work on your part; you must make sure they don't draw you into their sidetracking. They are likely to sidetrack because they haven't agreed upon a process and don't know your method for helping them.

Q. What are some signs that might tell me there is an underlying conflict in my group?

A. People feel safe bringing up certain issues that are, in fact, a mask for the real sources of conflict. At times, they aren't aware of the real source of conflict or are not sure of how to bring it up. Typical signs are chronic complaining, increased levels of stress, unnecessary competitiveness, absenteeism, failure to accomplish much, retaliation, and undermining comments between team members.

Q. How, as a manager, do I learn about conflicts early on so I can help resolve them before they become full blown arguments?

A. Managers who meet regularly with their staff, individually and as a team, tend to stay abreast of conflicts and also learn more about their employees' needs. It is important to develop an active listening style that encourages two-way communication, so differences are brought to the surface easily and quickly, seen as part of the normal process of working together, and, if possible, resolved as they arise.

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