Dear SafetyXChange Members,

I was never a little boy. But I did collect baseball cards when I was a kid. Some of my most vivid memories of those days come from trading cards with my pals. My goal was to persuade my trading partner to relinquish a card of a treasured player missing from my collection. But I knew I'd have to give up something in return. Once the trading was done, we'd hop on our bikes or do something else equally fun together.

I don't collect baseball cards any more. But I still play essentially the same way in the business realm. True, now the stakes are different. Instead of cards, I'm trading salary, benefits, job responsibilities, etc. But the negotiating protocol remains remarkably the same as it was back in the days when I was trading Joe Pepitones for Roberto Clementes.

The Essence of Negotiation

I admit. I'm not the first one to use the baseball card analogy to describe business negotiation. Another person who apparently had a baseball card collection when he was younger is employment lawyer and negotiation expert, Lee Miller. "Negotiation is a process, and your employer wants to make you happy," Miller says. "It's like kids with baseball cards, if they can't give you what you want, have in mind something else to ask for."

Most bosses want you to ask for something they can deliver - especially if they had to turn down your first request. They also will want you to provide something to compensate for what they relinquish. As an abstract concept, these are obvious points. But thinking baseball cards is a good way to ensure their application to your own negotiations and thus help you negotiate more successfully.

Two Negotiating Principles

As you approach negotiations - be it over a raise, a promotion, plum assignment or even a better office - it is crucial to have at least two things clear in your mind:

• An understanding of exactly what you want to attain as a result of the negotiation; and
• A sense of responsibility for ensuring that your bosses don't walk away from the negotiation feeling like they "lost."

The Principles in Action - About the Money

"It's not about the money." Never believe anybody who tells you this. It's always about the money. In employment negotiation, base salary and/or bonuses are the most common and touchy areas of discussion. The boss is on edge - especially if he knows he just doesn't have the budget for the raise he may even know you deserve.

"Don't tie your boss' hands" by stubbornly asking only for a certain financial raise, advises management consultant Beverly Kaye. This turns the negotiation into a zero sum game where one side wins and the other loses. Although you might come out the "winner," your relationship with management could suffer as a result.

Try to turn the negotiation into a win/win. A good way to do this is to consider not just salary but the value of all job-related benefits including:

• Health, life and disability insurance
• Professional development reimbursement
• Employer contributions to retirement plan
• Company support of cars, phones and computers
• Learning opportunities your organization offers
• Conferences you are able to attend
• Books, periodicals, subscriptions, training and other resources you get through the job.

The Things Money Can't Buy

Also keep in mind that money is not the only stake in negotiations. "There are many other areas where your boss can improve things for you as the result of skillful negotiation," notes ExecuNet President Mark Anderson.

Moreover, you need to factor in the very important intangible factors, such as if your family loves the area and the schools are good, you love your day-to-day job, peers and you feel rewarded in many other ways on the job beyond salary.

"If money is the only thing about the job that excites you," notes Anderson, "perhaps you should take a step back and assess where you want to enhance your career in order to make it a better part of your life."

Conclusion

Negotiations are not just about the things you want from the company and the things the company wants from you. They're about the relationship and how well the two of you will work together. The trick to negotiating is not to get as much as you can; it's to get as much as you can in a way that leaves both sides happy. In other words, the game is about staying friends after the dealing is done, like the kids who can put away their baseball cards and play a new game without any lingering recrimination.

Wishing you career - and negotiation - success!

Lauryn Franzoni
ExecuNet
www.execunet.com

NEGOTIATING POINTERS

The Likeability Factor

By Lauryn Franzoni

When it comes to negotiating, what you say may be less important than how you say it. Good negotiators say it's important to minimize confrontation and maximize likeability. Learn how to disagree without being disagreeable.

Words & Phrases to Avoid: "Insist," "demand," "must," "take it or leave it."

Words & Phrases to Use: "Mutual," "suggest," "I need your help" and "how do we make this work for both of us?"

Likeability is especially important when you're holding the upper hand in the negotiation. If you know you're probably going to walk away from the table with most of what you want, you should take special care to avoid coming off like a bully. Otherwise, you might win the battle (the negotiation), but lose the war (your long-range career prospects at the company).

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THE HOME FRONT

The Value of the Stay-at-Home Mom (or Dad)

By Glenn Demby

Speaking of negotiating as being part of a broader relationship, here's a question: How many of you have spouses who stay at home to take care of your kids?

And here's another question: If your spouse demanded a salary, how much could he or she command based on the market value for such services rendered?

The Answer: $134,121.

At least this is how Salary.com rates the value of the services provided by stay-at-home moms. Salary.com surveyed a group of such moms and identified their 10 most common functions. It then combined the average salary rates for the job titles best describing those services, including (in order of hours spent per week):

• Housekeeper
• Day care center teacher
• Cook
• Computer operator
• Laundry machine operator
• Janitor
• Facilities manager
• Van driver
• CEO
• Psychologist.

Source: www.salary.com.

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