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My Lug ‘Em and Leave ‘Em History with Handbags
I admit it. I have a problem with commitment. Not with people. I still have plenty of friends dating back to my pre-kindergarten days. And not with men. I’ve been married to the same man for almost 27 years. My commitment problem is with purses.
What I Look for in My Purses
Mating myself to a handbag is just too critical of a decision for me to get over. After all, no other accessory, article of clothing, or member of my family is as attached to me as closely or spends as much time with me day in and day out as my purse. I should clarify that I’m referring to my everyday purse, not the occasional dressy evening bag or the abbreviated run-out-to-a-movie kind, neither of which need meet the rigorous standards that apply to the everyday purse.
And what are these exacting standards? Every woman has her own, of course, but here are some of mine. The purse must be:
- Appealing in color;
- Made from very soft leather (I've tried other fabrics and they just don't cut it);
- Configured with the right number of inside and outside pockets and zippers, each properly sized;
- Light (at least before I load it up);
- Not too expensive;
- Equipped with two shoulder length straps for easy access; and
- Devoid of any brand markings.
Capacious and Cuteness
The everyday purse must also be capacious (Dickens loved to use that word and it works here) to hold all of the essential items, which in my case, include: wallet; sunglasses; credit card holder (both the mini version for the most often used cards and the expanded version that includes only occasionally used items like voter registration card, museum memberships, receipts, store credits, department store credit cards, etc.); hand calculator; daily planner; Blackberry; check book; inspirational journal; address book; note pad; car and house keys; pen/pencil case; train schedule; and office security pass. Plus, I use separate holders for various assorted items including, but not limited to: photos; candy (this container also holds Advil, dental floss and gum); lipstick (accommodates up to 3 shades); tissues; coffee creamer and artificial sweetener packets; batteries; business/appointment cards; eyedrops; and sundry other items.
On days when I'm required to make the magical transition from office to evening I may also carry toothpaste, toothbrush, an assortment of cosmetic reinforcements, deodorant and hair gel. Now when I say "capacious" I mean big enough to allow the hand to roam freely through the contents but not so big that (i) everything floats around in a bottomless pit, or (ii) the bag would have to be checked at the airport.
Finally, the purse must be stylish and aesthetically appealing in a you-know-it-when-you-see-it kind of way. In a word, cute.
My Cheatin’ Heart
You would think that when, after long and painful searching, I finally settle on a purse that meets all of these demands I would cling to it forever. Well, for a moment I do actually believe it's the real thing, that I've found "The One" and that my purse and I are on our way to Happily Ever After Land.
But no sooner have I transferred the contents of my old purse and headed out the door with my new arm candy swinging jauntily from my shoulder than I find my attention caught by a snazzy little number winking back at me from a store window or displayed seductively on a table at Nordstrom's—attractive and obviously available. So I begin to waver.
Don’t get me wrong. I’m not promiscuous. Rather, think of me as a serial monogamist with a passion for purses and a chronic wandering eye. And who could blame me? All those soft, supple leathers in more colors than a 64-count box of crayola crayons and every imaginable size and shape. . . those cunning zippers and snaps, all those cleverly placed pouches and pockets, even the occasional bow or adorable dangly thing.
Well, therein lies my weakness. I am just way too much in love with purses to ever be faithful to any one purse for long. Sure, I’ve managed the occasion season-long “fling” with a particular bag that suits me well. But when that season rolls around the following year, the fond memories of our times together simply aren’t enough to overcome the excitement and anticipation of a new relationship. So off I go seeking the one thing that not even the most perfect of handbags could ever provide: variety.
And what happens to my castaways? They end up on the proverbial (and in this case literal) shelf with all my other ex-purses. Every so often, I will pull one off the shelf, like the guy flipping through his black book calling up his old girlfriends. But after a few "dates" I remember why we broke up in the first place.
Conclusion
So now you’ve seen the real me. Good for a season then goodbye, old lug 'em and leave 'em. And I'm no more likely to change than that playboy with the black book because, truth be told, neither one of us really wants to settle down. So to all the purses I’ve loved before, my message is this. It’s not you, it’s me. You’re a great purse and you deserve someone much better than me.
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I got a good laugh over your article. While I'm not that passionate about purses, I have a difficult time finding one that I like for any length of time. When I buy it I think, "this is the one", then after I use it for awhile I always find things that really irritate me about the purse and then I don't use it any more. Therefore, I have a lot of purses sitting on a shelf, too! Thanks for the laughs!
What does this have to do with safety? Why would I be interested in this?
Good insight in explaining the personal reasons why you like to change bags.
But I fail to understand this story and the how it relates to the safety profession or someone's carrer. Still confused on the objective or the context in which it was written.
Hi Alisa,
I don't mean to sound obtuse (it really worked well in "The Shawshank Redemption", but I don't see how this pertains to safety or career advice.
Thanks
Greg
since when did this become an extension of Oprah? This is completely irrelevant, and of no interest to the large majority of readers.
I don't get it. I read this twice thinking I had missed something, but based upon the previous comments, doesn't appear so. Thanks for wasting the little bit of time I have set aside each week for keeping up with safety news and trends.
For those of you who may be wondering, there are no hidden safety messages in Alisa Singer's article. I just thought the piece was hilarious and that you folks would enjoy it as much as I did. But don't worry. This is not some kind of new direction and we have every intention of keeping SafetyXChange rooted in its health and safety mission. I just thought I'd try a change of pace just this one time.
Glenn Demby
Glen:
Can we do an article on Muscle Cars??
I think you can be subjected to Carple Tunnel Syndrome from shifting the 4-speed transmission too much especially since they have 5 & 6 speed transmissions now.
I thought Alisa's article was different.I did not relate to it but it gave us the opportunity to lok at purses from a saftey view point. If those long straps got caught in some machinery it could pull you into the machine and an incident or injury could occur.
Thanks Alisa
very inappropriate to be included in a safety Exchange site!
Glenn, I wonder how many people spent how much time trying to find the 'hidden safety messages' in the article, and practiced that skill in the process? By the way, I actually do see at least one safety related message there: "serial monogamist"...how many Safety serial monogamists do exactly the same thing with new/better/different/catchy safety programs?
How many of us have a closet full of ex-favorite programs that didn't so much fail to perform as they failed to retain their shine?
And Alisa; don't let the guys fool you: we're just the same. Ask any guy to show you his mechanic tools , his fishing tackle, or his guns. It's an OLD saying that most fishing baits have already caught what they were intended to catch when they leave the store. Oh, and I love that "cosmetic reinforcements"... cute.
I too am guilty of having the "little black book" assortment of purses on a shelf. Your article was a cute change on the site to read and relate to. Gave me a chuckle. And isn't that what we all need in our crazy busy and at times "stuffy" day? It would be nice to see a follow up to this article pertaining to the type of injury and stress that is caused on the human body when we carry such "loads" on our shoulders daily.
I know guys are lugging bags around as macho attack items and now we know what women have got in their bags. As a person who uses the train every day to travel to work, can I make a plea that both sexes lighten up.
If any of you have ever heard the sound one of these bags, large cases, backpacks makes when it impacts someone after falling from a overhead storage rack, you'll realise that the increasing size of bags is a health and safety issue.
I personally thought the article was refreshing and read it because I was curious. Cudos to Hank Roberts for his wonderful perspective on it also.
Lighten up people. A little humor, in safety, is okay.