In delivering bad news, we have a tendency to sugarcoat it in a misguided attempt to protect the recipient-and ourselves. But in so doing, we garble the message and ultimately inflict even greater damage. This week's piece is designed to turn things around and make the delivery of bad news a positive experience for both the messenger and recipient.

Forging Partnerships

The only thing worse than receiving bad news is having to deliver it. Thus, in a sense, messengers and recipients are partners in misery. Recognizing this partnership and consciously seeking to profit from it is the key to turning a bad situation into a positive one. Here are some pointers:

Set the Context for Caring and Empathy: The first stage is to open the conversation appropriately. If you'll indulge me a greeting card moment, you can't partner unless you care. So if you're bearing bad news, set the tone by conveying your empathy. Examples include everything from: "I need to have an important conversation with you. . . . and I really spent time thinking about it before I called" to "I really care about you and what you are thinking and feeling about this. . . .and I believe this will be a very valuable conversation for us."

Explore Desired Outcomes: Share what you hope the recipient will gain from the conversation. Use language like: "I really hope this will help you grow," "Understand something important," "Take away the confusion, clarify or deepen understanding," etc.

Share Perspectives with Candor: Be open, honest and non-judgmental. People usually know when they've failed. Be empathetic, yet firm. When you find things that the person clearly missed say, "Let me share something you can do in the future to make this phase easier to manage;" or "What we're going to talk about are the projects you were working on - I know they were important to you, and to me. This was a very challenging project with lots of unexpected dynamics and at the end of the project the results were not what either of us expected." Focus on the future so the failure becomes a learning experience.

Discover What's Important to Both of You: Place the news within the larger context. For example, if it's a person who failed to deliver results and they are scared that they really disappointed you, you can say something like: "I'd like to hear more about how this unfolded for you. What do you think worked well? What didn't? What was the toughest part?" Then share your perspectives and try to get a clearer view of what happened. Be sure you make as few assumptions or interpretations as possible - and listen well!

Agree to Next-Steps: Discuss how to do things differently the next time. Tell the recipient how to improve. People are usually more responsive to "constructive foresight" than "constructive criticism."

Contract for Success: Discuss what you need to give and receive for this to be successful. How will you measure success? How often will you communicate? What will you each do if the changes are not working?

Conclusion

Professional people need to handle the delivery and reception of bad news like adults. What we're talking about is forming a contract or understanding. Persons who fail should be prepared to accept and learn from the experience. Persons who deliver the news should be open and candid so the recipient can use the failure to become a better professional. If each side recognizes and adheres to this contract, professional failure will be transformed from an ending to a beginning experience.

Wishing you career success,

Lauryn Franzoni

ExecuNet, www.execunet.com

TORNADOES

How to Protect Yourself

By Glenn Demby [NOTE: Lauryn didn't write this piece. If you have comments on it, send them to glennd@bongarde.com]

The U.S. experiences an average 1,000 tornadoes per year, mostly in the inland states east of the Rocky Mountains during the spring and summer. About 60 people per year die in tornadoes.

Tornadoes start as thunderstorms. Such storms tend to develop in warm, moist air in advance of cold fronts moving east. The humid air rises high into the sky where the air is cooler. This causes the air to condense and form storm clouds. The warmer air continues rising into the thunderstorm in a movement called an updraft. Air in the updraft rotates and tilts from horizontal to vertical. Tornadoes form within the updraft.

Don't Believe the Myths

The National Weather Service has published preparedness guidelines debunking certain commonly held myths about tornadoes:

MYTH: Areas near rivers, lakes, and mountains are safe from tornadoes.

FACT: No place is safe from tornadoes. In the late 1980's, a tornado swept through Yellowstone National Park leaving a path of destruction up and down a 10,000 foot mountain.

MYTH: The low pressure within a tornado causes buildings to "explode" as the tornado passes overhead.

FACT: Violent winds and debris slamming into buildings cause most structural damage.

MYTH: Windows should be opened before a tornado approaches to equalize pressure and minimize damage.

FACT: Opening windows allows damaging winds to enter the structure. Leave the windows alone; instead, immediately go to a safe place.

Tornado Safety

Here are some safety guidelines from the National Weather Service.

Before the Storm

• Develop a plan for you and your family for home, work, school and when outdoors.
• Hold frequent drills.
• Know the county/parish in which you live and keep a highway map nearby to follow storm movement from weather bulletins.
• Have a NOAA (National Oceanic and Atmospheric Administration) Weather Radio with a warning alarm tone and battery back-up to receive warnings.
• Listen to radio and TV for information.
• If planning a trip outdoors, listen to forecasts and take necessary action if threatening weather is possible.

If a Warning Is Issued or Threatening Weather Approaches

• In a home or building, move to a pre-designated shelter, such as a basement.
• If an underground shelter is not available, move to an interior room or hallway on the lowest floor and get under a sturdy piece of furniture.
• Stay away from windows.
• Get out of automobiles.
• Do not try to outrun a tornado in your car; instead, leave it immediately.
• Mobile homes, even if tied down, offer little protection from tornadoes and should be abandoned.
• Occasionally, tornadoes develop so rapidly that advance warning is not possible. Remain alert for signs of an approaching tornado. Flying debris from tornadoes causes most deaths and injuries.

Source: National Severe Storms Library, "Tornadoes. . . Nature's Most Violent Storms," http://www.nssl.noaa.gov/edu/safety/tornadoguide.html

Story Tools:  Email This Post  Print This Post Top