Grading the Monsters
It's become a SafetyXChange Halloween tradition and today, in spite of popular demand, we will continue it. SafetyXChange presents its annual health and safety ratings of monsters and ghouls.
WITCHES
Safety-wise, witches are a particularly slipshod breed of monster. They stand over boiling cauldrons of vaporous materials without protective eyewear or aprons. They also zoom around on broomsticks without seatbelts. And, I don't know about you, but if water made me melt, I think I'd make it a point to wear waterproof clothing.
Grade: F
HUNCHBACK OF NOTRE DAME
Hey, Quasimodo. Two words: "Hearing protection." BING BONG, BING BONG, BING BONG...
Grade: C-
THE GRIM REAPER
I have problems with anybody who walks around holding sharp objects. I'm begging you, Grim, you're killin' me-put a safety cover on that scythe. And if you insist on wearing that loose fitting cloak, stay away from moving machine parts.
Grade: D+
DR. JEKYLL & MR. HYDE
This guy(s) is the poster child for what happens when we don't practice chemical safety. If he had obtained and read the MSDS, he'd never have drank that frightful stuff.
Grade: F
FREDDIE KRUGER
Here's a guy who could really use a manicure and about 10 cases of Clearicil. And that stupid hat he wears offers no protection against flying objects.
Grade: D
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Have a safe and happy Halloween, everybody.
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