A young psychiatrist, haggard with the troubles of his patients, gets into the elevator of a hospital with an elderly, but sprightly, colleague.

“How on earth do you remain so youthful, sir” sighed the younger man, “listening year after year to all those terrible complaints?”

The older man shrugs his shoulders. “Who listens?”

Whether you call them gripes, groans, fusses, grumbles or something unprintable, the fact is that nobody likes listening to complaints. Still, they’re impossible to avoid. Complaints are everywhere—in restaurants, at ball games and family reunions, on TV and, above all, at work. But as a safety leader, listening to complaints is a big part of your job. Here’s some advice to help you cope with it.

The Value of Complaints

Before you dismiss complaints as worthless sniveling, think about them logically. What’s so wrong with a complaint? It’s just an expression of dissatisfaction. Haven’t you ever had legitimate complaints that you thought warranted attention? People who complain are saying that they’re not satisfied with the status quo and want it to improve. And isn’t that exactly the way we want our employees to feel?

Of course, there are some employees who just love to complain and argue. But don’t discount their concerns, either. Often, the perceived bellyachers are really complaining for other employees who are just too shy to speak for themselves. So you need to listen to what they say, even if it feels like a waste of time.

If you prove yourself skilled at listening and responding to complaints, employees will trust you and come to you with their problems. They’ll share suggestions and insights. In this way, the complaint process serves a vital role in improving morale, reducing hazards and making the workplace better.

How to Handle Complaints

Handling complaints is more of an art than a science. Let me offer you some advice on how to do it effectively.

Listen: When somebody is complaining, our instinct is to want to defend ourselves or lodge our own complaints. Don’t cut the complainer off.  Answer after the person is finished. And while you’re silent, listen and don’t just wait for him to stop talking. Don’t stick the complaint into a preconceived category until you’ve heard what the person has to say.

React to the Message, Not the Messenger: Don’t allow your impression of the speaker to influence your interpretation of the message (complaint). Good thoughts and valid complaints can come from people whose image or personality you don’t like.

Take Notes: There are two good reasons to take notes. First, the employee sees that you’re listening and taking the complaint seriously. Second, you can review your notes later in case you must take action. The notes also may serve as a record if the matter is serious.

Keep an Open Mind: You may not agree with the complaint. But give it a fair hearing. Don’t automatically reject complaints because they’ve proven unfounded in the past. This time, the person may have a point. Imagine how you would feel in the same situation.

Put Yourself in the Complainant’s Place: This is called empathetic listening. According to Listening: The Forgotten Skill, “Empathetic listeners refrain from judging the talker and place themselves in the other’s position, attempting to see things from his or her point of view. Some characteristics of this type of listening include being aware and in the present moment, acknowledging, and responding.” Empathetic listening will also help bring the emotional level down and build understanding and rapport.

Restate the Complaint: The first step in responding to a complaint is to repeat it and ensure you understand it. Begin with “As I understand it, the concern you have is…” or something similar. Don’t agree or disagree with the complaint, but ask questions that help you understand it.

Avoid Using Stock Phrases: You discount a person’s feelings when you respond with, “Oh, it’s not that bad,” “You’re making a mountain out of a molehill,” or “It will blow over; don’t be so upset.” It may not seem so serious to you, but each person is different. Some people have a low pain threshold.

Give Yourself Time to Make a Decision: Tell the person that you need time to think about the complaint. Nobody can see all sides of an issue immediately. New facts or ideas take time to sink in. Give yourself a little time.

Conclusion

A young monk takes a vow of silence with the understanding that he’s allowed to speak two words at the end of each year. Year one passes. The monk’s statement: “Room’s small.” After another year of silence, the monk states his piece for year two: “Food’s bland.” In year three, he states, “Cloak itches.” At the end of year four, he makes the definitive statement: “I quit!” The superior, his face calm, responds, “I’m not surprised. Since you’ve been here all you’ve done is complain.”

And so my brothers—and sisters—I call on you to welcome complaints and recognize them for what they are—notification of potential problems and an opportunity to rectify them.

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